IKEA offers party leaders home furnishing inspiration as the battle for The Lodge continues
With less than two weeks until polling day, the battle for the top job continues, and IKEA Australia has offered some timely home furnishing inspiration for Australia’s would-be PMs, Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott, should either feel the need for a re-design inside The Lodge.
IKEA has created two kitchen designs, shaped by some of the more notorious traits of both election front-runners – the RUDDIK and the ÅBBUTT. Each kitchen has its own distinctive features, with creative comforts befitting its leaders’ passions, lifestyle, personality and (occasional) social gaffs.
The RUDDIK solution is an updated version of the now discontinued GYLLÅRD. It focuses on late ‘noughties’ revival, using products and accessories that were popular in 2007. While most evidence of its predecessor has been removed, some hints are still visible with tell-tale splashes of flame red in the color palette.
Key features of the RUDDIK include:
– FOTO FRAMIA: A framed ‘Kevin ’07’ jersey, ideal for the man who’s his own biggest fan
– RECYCLIA: A recycling bin so that policies and other GYLLÅRD remnants can be smartly disposed of
– REPOSITORIUM: A clever storage solution for books and academic journals, to maintain the ‘suppository repository of all knowledge’.
The ÅBBUTT kitchen is based on a traditional design, which has undergone a recent makeover to modernise its external appearance. The ÅBBUTT narrowly pips popular alternative, the TURNBULLEN, to the post, with rumours amongst home furnishing fans that the latter design is set to make a comeback.
Key features of the ÅBBUTT include:
– RACKENCOAT: A coat rack to host a variety of outfits including a fireman’s jacket, a bike helmet and budgie smugglers
– WOOPSIE MOPPA: Never far from reach for emergency clean ups after those ‘slip of the tongue’ moments
– HIDDEN-CUPBOARDIA: Smart storage solutions mean that policy details can be kept out of sight from prying eyes
Says Angela McCann, IKEA Australia spokesperson: “At IKEA, our mission is to create a better everyday life at home; and with two distinctive and very different personalities potentially moving into The Lodge for the long term, we thought they could do with a helping hand and inspiration to make sure their kitchen is perfectly suited to them.
“Both kitchen designs have everything on hand that each would-be PM could need and with our affordable prices, we know the taxpayer will be kept happy.”
Full features of the bespoke kitchens are as follows:
RUDDIK
This IKEA kitchen solution draws inspiration from designs and accessories popular in the late noughties
1. Kontakt-keeper
Keep laptop, tablet and mobile phone within easy reach so that you’re never too far away to share your LOL and FML moments on Twitter or Instagram.
2. Noos-unite
Keep the media junkie in you satisfied with a wall mounted TV that remains in easy vision.
3. Foto Framia
Large, wall mountable frame, ideal for displaying family photos or reinforcing the support for your favourite political player, even if it is yourself.
4. Grydlepannen
Be a man of the people by throwing a sausage on the grill and having a chinwag with the family. Don’t forget the sauce!
5. Expeediensy-extracta
Ensure your kitchen is free of cooking smells or any whiff of political expediency with this powerful extraction fan.
6. Innacirklen-tabl
Spacious kitchen table, perfect for hosting any emergency Kitchen Cabinet meetings.
7. Spinn-stoola
Bar stool with non-slip footrest, meaning it will take at least 75% of your party to oust you. Extra features include a swivel function for any necessary spinning during political debates.
8. Sver-jarren
Guilty of letting the occasional bad word slip? Repent with this large swear jar, perfect for storing loose change.
9. Dishwashaa
Powerful but silent dishwasher, meaning you can eradicate any evidence of dirt with more ruthless efficiency than a Sussex Street clean out.
10. Recyclia
A sudden overspill of Gyllård policies to dispose of? Make sure you recycle smartly with this large paper-friendly bin.
11. VoVo-dispensaa
Keep the iced VoVos fresh when you need to pop the kettle on for a cosy family pow-wow or election strategy meeting.
12. Cupboarden
Easy and quick to assemble cupboards make difficult cabinet reshuffles a thing of the past.
13. Knivenrackem
Handy knife rack that keeps knives in the open and accounted for, to avoid being stabbed in the back by fellow party members or ex-PMs planning revenge.
14. Saf-ruggen
Keep this rug from being pulled out from under you, by securing it firmly underneath the kitchen table.
15. Repositorium
Large and clever storage solution for books and academic journals, will ensure your status of ‘suppository repository of all knowledge’ is maintained.
ÅBBUTT
A traditional IKEA kitchen concept that has been updated with a recent ‘modern’ makeover
1. Foto Shrinen
Want to pay tribute to the person that you idolise? This wall frame is perfect for portrait-style prints.
2. Shloganboardia
These handy chalkboards allow you to strategically place punchy three-word slogans around the kitchen, to help keep your family focused and on track.
3. Rackencoat
Sturdy legs and ample hooks to ensure a variety of accessories are on hand for the modern day action man.
4. Stoolaa
This stool has supportive legs and comfortable cushioning to accommodate any corporate patriarchs or other heavyweights that come to visit.
5. Stor-knifa
Handy knife storage for convenient access, whatever your slicing and dicing needs – meats, vegetables or pesky leadership contenders.
6. Electrik Ovenaa
Electric hob and oven with extra safety features, so you never have to find your inner firefighter.
7. Woopsie Moppa
Easy to access mop, to help quickly clean up the mess from any accidental leaking of right-wing viewpoints and other social gaffs.
8. Hidden-Cupboardia
Have policy details you want to keep out of public view? These smart storage solutions will help keep your se
crets under wraps.
9. Freezo
Practice your icy stare for objectionable journalists while investigating dinner options in this spacious freezer.
10. Whisken
This lightweight whisk will always be close to hand if you find yourself needing to be whisked away from challenging situations e.g. press conferences.
11. Sinke
Need to practice turning back boats? This large sink holds plenty of water so that you can perfect your technique.
12. Binna
Have any taxes that you need to scrap, fast? This large bin is ideal for food remains, carbon taxes, mining taxes and any other kitchen waste.
2 Comments
Who made this crap?
Should stick to selling furniture and meatballs not making political jokes… Fail.